Here’s a thought on wedding attire. It’s not really traditional and it doesn’t really fit with the rules. In that sense I suppose it is a way to break the rules.
Anyway. I’ve written before how the default attire at a wedding should be the smartest thing you have. If morning dress is not required or suitable, it should be smart, discreet and dignified. The best combination might be a navy blue suit in a smooth, worsted wool, white cotton shirt and satin tie. Single breasted. White linen handkerchief. Black shoes. It’s hard to think of anything smarter in a lounge suit; though perhaps a Macclesfield check in the tie would be a nice nod to tradition.
However, it does strike me as a shame that a man following this advice will end up wearing to a wedding pretty much what he wears to work.
It is a shame because today not many men wear suits casually. They don’t wear them at the weekend and they don’t wear them for sport. So the sporty end of the lounge-suit range is criminally underused.
Men don’t wear strong checks; they don’t wear cottons or linens; they don’t wear great weaves like hopsack. These patterns and materials are unsuited to the dignity of business, so they rarely make it into the office. And at the weekend jeans and sweatshirts dominate.
So social occasions like weddings are a glorious opportunity to wear these sporty combinations. At a wedding I went to recently a friend was wearing a bespoke tan linen suit, brown oxfords, a pink-and-white striped shirt, a sky-blue tie and a pocket handkerchief. He looked great – but it’s hard to imagine any other scenario where he or any other of my friends would wear a combination like this. The joy of rough cloths and bright colours would be lost.
As a defence to this flouting of the rules, I would also point out that weddings today really are more casual than they used to be. There are fewer formalities, there is less prescribed structure, hell most of them aren’t even religious. So while the sanctity of marriage certainly demands dignity in dress, people shouldn’t follow ideas of propriety derived from an entirely different occasion.
It is always good to draw in one or two ideas of tradition though, if only because they have created such beautiful archetypes for us. In this case I would highlight the use of monochrome as smarter and more formal. Paring down the use of colour immediately makes things more dignified.
For all these reasons my outfit to this recent wedding was: a pale grey Glen-check suit, white cotton shirt, dark silver tie, white linen handkerchief and brown shoes. Sporty in the pattern of the suit, but retaining formality through monochrome.
So this is one long self-justification, basically.
I did say someone else looked good though, right?
4 Guest Comments »
1.
What if a wedding is “black tie optional”? Does that mean you are allowed to wear a black tux? I have a wedding in NYC coming up next weekend and I’ve been trying to decide what to wear or how to take that phrase. Should I ask the groom what color his groomsmen are wearing?
Also, if I do wear a black tux with a bow-tie do I need to wear a tux shirt with a turned up collar? I don’t really have the money to buy an extra shirt and don’t wear my tux that often (it was a thrift store find).
Comment by Brian — July 6, 2009 #
2.
Brian, you might find this thread here on the Fedora Lounge useful.
http://www.thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?t=27507
The tan suit / pink shirt / brown shoes sounds just like my summer wardrobe. There should definitely be a campaign to promote the wearing of suits informally and at weekends – cue rallying cry here!
Comment by Dan D — July 7, 2009 #
3.
In a previous post about wedding attire, you stated “The second factor when choosing wedding wear is time. Your requirements as a guest can be determined according to whether a wedding is held during the day or in the evening, as well as if it is held indoors or outdoors. A day wedding will begin before 6:00 pm, and after 6:00 is considered an evening wedding.”
I think most weddings I’ve attended started pretty early in the day with a receiption beginning before 5 but going late into the night. I think maybe it is another reason why black tie has been adopted so widely by americans. They’re dressed in preparation for the later part of the wedding, and a wardrobe change between day ceremonies and evening reception seems impratical. What would be a suitable alternative for those weddings that go from day to night?
Comment by Patrick — July 7, 2009 #
4.
Brian,
If you search for black tie on my site (permanentstyle.co.uk) you will find your answers on the matching collars with tux jackets.
Patrick,
I agree this is a problem. My general answer is that if you have an event starting around 5pm and going into the evening, it isn’t a day event and evening attire is fine. The only thing that really looks incongruous is men wearing a tux for an event that starts at 11am in the morning.
Simon
Comment by Simon Crompton — July 8, 2009 #
Brian,
By all means, wear a tux shirt with a turndown collar! The only way that a wing collar looks good is if it is at least two inches high, and that can only be done if it is detachable. Since that is not in your budget, a nice turndown collar shirt (looks like a white dress shirt but with holes for studs instead of buttons and special treatment for the chest) is the way to go.
I might suggest you peruse The Black Tie Guide to make sure you look sharp and not like a buffoon (which too many men do when they wear evening dress incorrectly).
Brown shoes!! Are you serious? I thought you were going for a monochrome look.
I can never understand people’s insistence on the fact that brown shoes look good with grey suits. They don’t. Ever. I can just about take brown shoes with a blue suit in a more casual (not City) context, but brown with grey just looks sloppy.
SS,
I guess we’ll have to rather disagree there. I love brown shoes of every hue and I would almost always rather wear shoes of some colour rather than black. Indeed, some browns are so dark I think they look smarter than black.
Simon
Simon
I think I could understand the rationale of wearing brown shoes if they tie in with some other colour in the ensemble with which one would typically wear brown, for example a blue shirt, green tie, etc. However, in an ensemble which is predicated on shades of grey, white and black, I simply cannot understand how this would work.
If the shoes which you intend to wear are so dark as to appear black (which the shoes in the photo you refer to are not) then why not wear black?
SS
SS,
I guess we’ll just have to disagree on this one. I don’t think the brown shoes have to match up with anything in particular.
While I didn’t wear my shoes this time as a replacement for black, I believe a very dark brown can look better than black as a richer colour – in a similar way to midnight blue or velvet looking darker than black in evening wear.
Simon
I think we will have to disagree. We are not going to see eye-to-eye on this one!
I find the disagreement on brown shoes with gray suits/pants very interesting.
I believe that brown can pair with gray successfully depending on both the shade of brown and the shade of gray. If it is a pure, cool gray, then black is the right choice for shoe color. If it is a blue-gray, then any of the red-tinged browns, like burgundy or oxblood, are good (black works too, but not as well). If, however, it is a warm gray, like that in this suit worn by Hugh Laurie as Bertie Wooster, then the other shades of brown are best.
It also depend on if there are other colors (especially brown) in the suit, as might be found in stripes or checks. Ideally, such highlight colors match the shade of gray. For the suit pictured in this post, I’d say that reddish brown shoes would work best.
Regarding shoe color: Simon, what do you think of gray shoes? Would you own any, and if so, what would you wear them with?
Incidentally, the brown shoes and gray Norfolk-jacketed suit that Gene Kelly wore in the title dance scene in Singing in the Rain are a very nice combination of brown shoes and gray suit.
Indeed, SS. But then what a dull world it would be if everyone had the same taste.
Simon
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